The Power of Professional Help: How to Turn Around a Struggling Relationship

In any relationship, it’s normal to experience frustration or fatigue, but when dysfunction begins to dominate, many couples consider walking away. The good news is that even the most difficult relationships can be saved with the right professional guidance. In this blog post, we explore how counseling can help turn relationships around and how to decide whether it’s time to stay or part ways. I offer extended sessions, both virtually and in-person, to help clients assess their relationship’s potential and make informed decisions about their future.

Even in the Happiest Relationships, People Get Tired

In every relationship, even the most fulfilling ones, it’s normal to feel tired, frustrated, or disconnected at times. Relationship fatigue can arise from the routine of long-term partnerships, the stress of everyday life, or simply the reality of spending significant time together. According to Gottman and Silver (1999), the key to long-lasting relationships is not avoiding conflict but learning how to navigate moments of discontent effectively. Couples who understand that temporary frustrations are natural tend to have a more resilient bond.

Research shows that couples who focus on the positive aspects of their relationship, even during difficult times, are more successful in overcoming challenges. Bradbury and Karney (2014) explain that maintaining a "positive perspective" is crucial for resilience, as couples who build up a "bank" of positive interactions are better equipped to weather the rough patches without feeling like their relationship is on shaky ground. This helps to ensure that small irritations don’t grow into larger problems.

The Importance of Seeking Help

While relationship fatigue is normal, dysfunctional patterns that persist unchecked can lead couples to question the future of their relationship. If you find yourself struggling to connect with your partner or if problems seem overwhelming, it’s important to know that seeking help is both normal and wise. In fact, 93% of couples who seek therapy report feeling better equipped to handle relationship issues, and 67% of those who seek therapy report increased relationship satisfaction (AAMFT, 2018).

Many people feel the urge to end dysfunctional relationships, and in some cases, this may be the healthiest option. However, it’s also important to recognize that even the most strained relationships can often be turned around with professional support. The right counselor or coach can help couples break negative patterns and rebuild their connection.

Turning Dysfunction Around

When dysfunction threatens to overtake your relationship, it’s easy to feel hopeless. But with professional guidance, many couples can address deep-rooted issues, improve communication, and rebuild trust. Emotionally Focused Therapy (Johnson, 2019), for instance, has a 75% success rate in helping couples repair their bond. By providing a safe space for partners to discuss their challenges, professional interventions can help both partners gain clarity on what is truly driving the dysfunction.

Marriage counseling and couples coaching are tools that can guide couples toward a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. These therapeutic approaches offer concrete strategies for working through conflict, reigniting emotional intimacy, and rebuilding trust after infidelity or prolonged neglect. When couples address issues early, they can avoid many of the pitfalls that lead to long-term dissatisfaction or divorce.

Deciding Whether to Stay or Leave

While many relationships can be repaired, it’s also important to evaluate whether staying in the relationship is the best choice. Some couples come to the realization that they no longer share core values or goals, making it difficult to sustain a healthy partnership. As you reflect on your relationship, consider asking yourself:

• Are our values aligned?

• Are we both committed to improving communication and resolving issues?

• Can I see a future with this person once our problems are addressed?

If you’re unsure, or if you’re struggling to find clarity, professional support can provide the guidance you need. In my practice, I offer extended sessions that last two to three hours, giving couples the time they need to delve into these complex questions. These sessions can help you determine whether your relationship can thrive or if it’s time to part ways amicably. I work with clients both locally and internationally, offering in-person sessions and virtual support to meet the needs of couples wherever they may be.

How I Can Help

Whether you’re looking to rebuild your relationship or need clarity on whether to continue, I offer extended counseling sessions that provide a deep dive into your relationship dynamics. Together, we will explore whether your relationship can be saved and, if so, how to create a healthier, happier partnership. If it’s time to move on, we can discuss how to do so in a way that preserves mutual respect and minimizes emotional damage. I work with clients both in person locally and virtually around the world, so no matter where you are, support is available.

Additionally, my book Win at Love, Win at Life, available on Amazon and Apple Books, offers more strategies to help you assess your relationship and make empowered decisions. The book provides practical tools for improving your partnership or determining if it’s time to let go.

Conclusion

It’s natural to feel tired or frustrated in a relationship, but if dysfunction becomes overwhelming, professional help can make a significant difference. Counseling can provide the tools and insights needed to repair your bond or help you decide whether it’s time to end the relationship. Whether you want to salvage your relationship or part ways respectfully, knowing when to seek help is crucial. I offer extended sessions to help you gain clarity and move forward with confidence in our first conversation together.

References

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). (2018). Marriage and Relationship Counseling Statistics.
Bradbury, T. N., & Karney, B. R. (2014). Love Me Slender: How Smart Couples Team Up to Lose Weight, Exercise More, and Stay Healthy Together. Simon & Schuster.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
Johnson, S. (2019). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection. Brunner-Routledge.
Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). Current Status and Future Directions in Couple Therapy. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 317-344.