Do Men or Women File For Divorce More Often?

Divorce is a difficult decision for any couple, but it’s a reality many face today. Though emotionally and financially challenging, divorce is not uncommon in modern relationships. Research shows that women are statistically more likely to file for divorce than men, often due to unmet emotional needs or chronic relationship dissatisfaction. In this blog, we’ll explore key insights on who files for divorce more frequently, common reasons marriages fail, and how approaches like marriage counseling and couples coaching can offer support. Additionally, we’ll discuss how couples can catch relationship problems early on and what successful couples do to maintain fulfilling, long-lasting connections.

While every marriage is unique, patterns often emerge in who initiates divorce and why. Studies consistently find that women are more likely to file for divorce, with Michael Rosenfeld's (2017) research revealing that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. This statistic holds across different demographics, suggesting that women, on average, are more likely to express dissatisfaction with their marriages and take the first steps toward legal separation.

Why Do Women File for Divorce More Often?

One reason women are more likely to initiate divorce may be due to their heavier burden of emotional labor in relationships. Emotional labor includes managing household responsibilities and maintaining the emotional health of the family. When these efforts go unappreciated or their own emotional needs are neglected, women may become increasingly frustrated (Hochschild & Machung, 2012). Research by Wilcox and Kline (2013) also highlights that women are more likely to express dissatisfaction when emotional intimacy and communication deteriorate in their marriages.

In addition to emotional labor, women tend to have stronger support networks—friends, family, or therapists—who encourage them to prioritize their well-being. These networks can make women more willing to leave an unsatisfactory marriage. In contrast, men may be less likely to seek external emotional support, which could explain their reluctance to initiate divorce, even in troubled relationships (Braver & Lamb, 2018).

Another contributing factor is differing expectations in marriage. Women often enter marriage expecting higher levels of emotional connection, communication, and partnership, while men might prioritize financial stability or sexual satisfaction (Lundberg & Pollak, 2014). When these emotional expectations are unmet, women are more likely to feel emotionally neglected and motivated to initiate divorce.

The evolving role of women in society has also contributed to the trend of women initiating divorce. With greater financial independence and personal autonomy, women are empowered to leave marriages that no longer serve them. Social stigma around divorce has diminished, and women today are more likely to prioritize their happiness and well-being over traditional pressures to "stay for the sake of the family" (Amato & Previti, 2003).

How Marriage Counseling and Couples Coaching Can Help

Marriage counseling and couples coaching offer valuable tools to address these issues before they lead to divorce. Counseling helps couples identify underlying problems, improve communication, and rebuild trust. Gottman (1999)suggests that couples who regularly address emotional and communication breakdowns early on are less likely to divorce. Counseling also provides a safe space for partners to evaluate their long-term compatibility and determine whether they should work toward healing the relationship or separate amicably.

By catching problems early and focusing on maintaining emotional intimacy, successful couples can navigate challenges with resilience. Karney and Bradbury (2014) emphasize that couples who engage in continuous dialogue, support each other's growth, and remain flexible to change tend to experience greater relationship satisfaction.

Conclusion

Divorce may be difficult, but with the right tools and interventions, couples can either repair their relationships or part ways with mutual respect. Women are more likely to initiate divorce due to unmet emotional needs and greater societal independence. However, both partners can contribute to marital breakdown, and common issues like communication problems, infidelity, and financial strain are often at the root of divorce. By seeking support through marriage counseling and addressing problems early on, couples can maintain fulfilling, long-lasting connections or end their relationship on healthier terms.

Over the years, I’ve had the honor of helping thousands of couples navigate their relationships—whether they’ve strengthened their connection or decided to part ways amicably, always fostering growth and mutual respect. If you're facing relationship challenges, I'm here to offer personalized support. Additionally, I regularly post concise, insightful blogs on topics related to life, love, and relationships, providing valuable guidance you can apply to your own journey. I also encourage you to explore my book, Win at Love, Win at Life, where I offer strategies to help you choose the right life partner, overcome relationship hurdles, and thrive both personally and as a couple. It’s a fantastic read for anyone aiming to build a fulfilling and balanced love life.

References

Amato, P. R., & Previti, D. (2003). People's Reasons for Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, the Life Course, and Adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 24(5), 602-626.

Braver, S. L., & Lamb, M. E. (2018). Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. TarcherPerigee.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.

Hochschild, A. R., & Machung, A. (2012). The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home. Penguin Books.

Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2014). Love Me Slender: How Smart Couples Team Up to Lose Weight, Exercise More, and Stay Healthy Together. Simon & Schuster.

Lundberg, S., & Pollak, R. A. (2014). Cohabitation and the Uneven Retreat from Marriage in the U.S., 1950–2010. Journal of Economic Perspectives, 28(2), 151-172.

Rosenfeld, M. J. (2017). Who Wants the Breakup? Gender and Breakup in Heterosexual Couples. American Sociological Review, 82(2), 377-407.

Wilcox, W. B., & Kline, K. K. (2013). Women, Marriage, and the Soul Mate Myth. The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America. National Marriage Project.